Stop second-guessing yourself and take action (not everyone can) - Melissa Llarena

Stop second-guessing yourself and take action (not everyone can) Stop second-guessing yourself and take action (not everyone can) As a little girl, I always wished there was some huge book of careers â€" just a place where you could turn the pages and read about every occupation in existence from food stylists to marine biologists.My interest in careers became consuming when I noticed that some professions afforded families a better quality of life than others â€" in terms of financial access. I also saw how those with greater access could in turn help their kids take short-cuts to success. I was 9 at most when these concepts unraveled for me yet this was before the internet existed. I wasn’t able to say “ok google show me all the careers in the world” â€" and still today there is no single place with this list.However, what I know now more than ever after having coached professionals since 1997 is that we have options.You and I have lots of options â€" some we will explore, others we will ignore, yet most we will never know about because th ere are just so many. On that note, heres a typical client challenge that I’ve heard.“I have so many options that I don’t know which one to pursue.”You’d think someone in that position would be charging forward and discovering his or her true bliss yet it is in these circumstances that I’ve noticed most professionals freeze and take zero action.Another excuse that I’ve run across is the idea of not being ready.“I’m not ready to get back in the job market.”Sometimes you are right it’s not the best time to put yourself in a position where you’ll be judged harshly behind closed doors. The times I can think of include when you’re focused on draining personal matters.It’s fair to take a break from a job hunt or laying low however waiting to feel ready or for when your resume is perfect is another excuse that does a disservice to you and your potential.Meanwhile, a very well-rationalized concern (or excuse I’ve witnessed) is“I’ve made a huge investment in my current career or by working for my employer and I don’t want to feel like I wasted my time so let me stay until my investment pans out.The biggest challenge with this concept is that it’s rational so it’s the toughest to address unless you believe in sunk costs. If you believe in sunk costs and have the courage to apply this idea to your sweaty equity then you should be able to budge otherwise mid-year bonuses and promotions and raises make this difficult to ignore.My hope for any client I coach is that they not only know that options exist but that I can inspire them to let go of their self-doubt to put themselves in the ring and go after them.I’m at a point where my clients know what to do â€" these are very accomplished professionals who know what they want and tactically can infer the steps that they have to take to push-through.However, not for a lack of competencies and intellect their confidence was chipped. It’s interesting how corporate America can do that to even some of its top performers. It’s sad.At some point my clients were let go.At some point my clients hit the glass ceiling.At some point my clients lost their safety net â€" a sponsor was let go, there was a change in leadership, a mentor left.At some point my clients doubted themselves â€" they were overlooked for a promotion.At some point my clients felt old.At some point my clients felt disappointed.At some point my clients felt like imposters.At some point my clients felt unsure about their self-worth.At some point my clients didnt like what they saw at work or how decisions were being made.At some point my clients felt as if their ethics or integrity were being called into question.At some point my clients were discriminated against (overtly or not).At some point my clients hesitated to speak up.At some point my clients had to hide who their really were to win the game.These are the moments when my clients have come to me.I career coach because I can’t just stand here l istening to bright and fully capable individuals who feel stuck continuously complain about their bosses, companies, or industries.It has nothing to do with me lacking empathy.It has everything to do with knowing real people for whom life was complex and limited with disabilities people who always wanted something bigger in their own lives yet they were not healthy nor strong enough to endure the stress that going after life goals requires at least not without experiencing breakdowns.Perhaps, I’m a bit naïve in some respects. However…I don’t see self-doubt as a limitation. I don’t see a lack of confidence as a limitation. I don’t see rejection as a reason to not take action. I don’t consider excuses to be useful to me nor my clients.Instead, I believe that the projected risks that come with a career misstep or mistake are not as consequential as never exploring your options.The irony is that most of my clients wish nothing else than for their children to have options yet I guess this is more of a “do as I say than do as I do” sort of thing. This is sad.I am turning around this notion in my home. There have been real sacrifices made to show my three sons that they will have options in their respective careers. I’m not done sacrificing â€" is any parent ever really? I’m showing them that while there is no big book of careers with enough creativity, courage, and consistent poking around looking for better answers you can enjoy an impressive quality of life and have access to financial gain by charting your own path and writing your own ticket.I hope to see a future where we don’t assembly line our kids into the same dull careers that we hate because we think there are no better options.I want to imagine a situation where you can start your life loving arts and crafts and end your life having built a legacy around your most inspirational creations â€" without having naysayers chisel your confidence along the way. Why is this not a reality? I wish my smartest peers tried out for their dream jobs rather than stayed out of the race because they didn’t feel qualified enough.There will be no big book â€" no big book of careers that are socially acceptable and respectable according to all human beings who will judge you â€" nope…it’s nonexistent.That’s part of the change that I’m after. I want to see more capable professionals step up into their potential. You should step up into your potential because there are plenty of people out there who wish they were capable of trying. You should step up into your potential because you are a role model to someone. You should step up into your potential because despite what life has done to your confidence YOU matter.Consider this my nudge to reach out to me if you find yourself in one of these situations.Yes, this is a sign if you need one and are cycling any of these three excuses above.You can shout for help by emailing me melissa@melissallarena.comOr you can whisper for guidance by joining my community of other high-achieving professionals who are experiencing a harder than expected job search https://www.melissallarena.com/